So I have been on a almost 2 weeks leave and went back to KL. It was one of the best leave I've had. Spent time with family and had a simple birthday celebration in Cameron Highlands. Met up with a couple of old friends and catch up on life. Which I am really glad I did.
I'm back in Singapore a day earlier before my leave ends. When I got in the cab, on my way home, I felt everything is so foreign. Like I didn't belong here, like I'm all alone. Then, I remembered a friend told me that he admired my courage to move to another country and work. He wouldn't have done it. That was when it struck me, I'm scared! I'm all alone in a foreign country. What if I got in to a car accident, or got mugged or something like that? Who would be there for me?
This morning when I woke up, I felt even worst. The feelings from last night multiplied by 10 or something. It's like head first down a seven story building would make me feel better. Friends told me, it could just be the post-effect of going on leave for too long. True? Idk. As of now, I choose anything in the world than to be and feel like this.
The last thing I want to be is a burden to my friends. That they have to constantly talk to me cz I'm depressed. That they feel obligated to talk to me even if they said they don't feel so. I absolutely don't know what to do. Is this a mid twenties crisis? Is there such a thing? I hope it's not. I'm counting down another 20 days till I'm back home. =/
I'm back in Singapore a day earlier before my leave ends. When I got in the cab, on my way home, I felt everything is so foreign. Like I didn't belong here, like I'm all alone. Then, I remembered a friend told me that he admired my courage to move to another country and work. He wouldn't have done it. That was when it struck me, I'm scared! I'm all alone in a foreign country. What if I got in to a car accident, or got mugged or something like that? Who would be there for me?
This morning when I woke up, I felt even worst. The feelings from last night multiplied by 10 or something. It's like head first down a seven story building would make me feel better. Friends told me, it could just be the post-effect of going on leave for too long. True? Idk. As of now, I choose anything in the world than to be and feel like this.
The last thing I want to be is a burden to my friends. That they have to constantly talk to me cz I'm depressed. That they feel obligated to talk to me even if they said they don't feel so. I absolutely don't know what to do. Is this a mid twenties crisis? Is there such a thing? I hope it's not. I'm counting down another 20 days till I'm back home. =/
