I am feeling absolutely guilty for abandoning my blog like this for so long. No updates no shit. Only tweeting. It is probably the easiest way to blog. lazy haha. Anyway, I have been feeling better since.. erm.. last night. Well, as the usual me (emo-ing) and was playing Angry Birds to distract myself at 2 am. I have to say my insomnia is back but deffos not getting worst.
I know in the 21st century, many people are free thinkers, agnostic or even an atheist. What I about to say is that, something miraculously happened. Like I said, I was playing Angry Birds and I was clearly not enjoying it cz I'm forcing myself to play it. Why can't I do something else to distract myself you asked? Well, is 2am and there's not much to do. Argh... the thing that happened was, a thought or a quote popped in to my head. I have heard of this quote before. During one of the Sunday service last year at Grace's Church. I went and google the quote and found it easily.
So for the first time in months if not years, I actually fell asleep feeling safe, calm and peaceful. Sounds as though I died, wtf. lol. Although I am yet to fully back on track, at least the emo-ness somehow distanced. I also learned IF I ever feel sad or when I feel like my path is dimmed, I shall pray. I admit that through out the 7 deadly sins; pride, envy, gluttony, lust, anger, greed, and sloth, I committed some of them. I gave in hopping to feel better as if that's the way it's suppose to be. Mind you, I said I committed SOME not all! I don't wanna go to hell wtf. Yea, like God's taking count what I wrote here.
Anyway, everyone has different ways of making themselves feel better. Only that I discovered it so much later. *sweat* This is deffos my way and I sure many people out there share the same as well. There's another quote that I want to share before I end this. *wink*
I know in the 21st century, many people are free thinkers, agnostic or even an atheist. What I about to say is that, something miraculously happened. Like I said, I was playing Angry Birds and I was clearly not enjoying it cz I'm forcing myself to play it. Why can't I do something else to distract myself you asked? Well, is 2am and there's not much to do. Argh... the thing that happened was, a thought or a quote popped in to my head. I have heard of this quote before. During one of the Sunday service last year at Grace's Church. I went and google the quote and found it easily.
Immediately I burst into tears. I have been feeling sad for a while with the only problem, I couldn't let it out. It feel like it's indescribable and no matter how I try to explain, it just does not do any justice to how I feel. I kept asking around if my healing progress is normal cz it has been so long since it happened. So last night, I felt like someone actually understand my pain. It has been some time since I last said my prayers, so I did when I burst into tears. It probably lasted about 10 minutes there but when I actually stopped, I felt calm and peaceful. Something that I hasn't felt in ages. I also kinda understand the fact that God wouldn't give me something that I can't handle. I only wish that He trust me less.
So for the first time in months if not years, I actually fell asleep feeling safe, calm and peaceful. Sounds as though I died, wtf. lol. Although I am yet to fully back on track, at least the emo-ness somehow distanced. I also learned IF I ever feel sad or when I feel like my path is dimmed, I shall pray. I admit that through out the 7 deadly sins; pride, envy, gluttony, lust, anger, greed, and sloth, I committed some of them. I gave in hopping to feel better as if that's the way it's suppose to be. Mind you, I said I committed SOME not all! I don't wanna go to hell wtf. Yea, like God's taking count what I wrote here.
Anyway, everyone has different ways of making themselves feel better. Only that I discovered it so much later. *sweat* This is deffos my way and I sure many people out there share the same as well. There's another quote that I want to share before I end this. *wink*
"God's gifts put man's best dreams to shame.
- Elizabeth Barrett Browning
