Saturday, August 25, 2012

Growing old is not an option, growing up is...

I'm gonna do a quick recap before I forgets everything or at least before I loses the inspiration to type. Here it goes, a year ago I fell in love. Madly in love with this man that I found a job in Singapore and moved across the country. My world evolves around him since then. My life in Singapore was built with and by him.

I hate to say this but all things will come to an end? Mine was just maybe to soon. I was so heartbroken I wanted to buy a ticket a fly home. I don't care if I break my bond and pay the penalty fee, besides, if I disappear, it was him who signed my bond, it's him that my company gonna chase after. I thought after what he made me went through, he deserves it. But I didn't do it. I use to be quite a bitch but this entire year made me grew so much. I learnt so much that I didn't think I would. For once I wanna move on without giving him what I think he did or did not deserves. He is the reason I am in Singapore and in this job but I'm changing that. I wanna truly enjoy my job or at least till the bond end. I wanna be responsible, and most importantly, I don't want to leave with a bad name.

I can't exactly say I achieved all this by myself. I need to thank my family for it. The support my sister-in-law gave got me through the tough times. She is the best sister I swear. Lets just say she did things that I never thought she would. Things I saw in movie and knew it does happen in real life but never thought it would happen to me. I guess, that's what family is for. =)

And then there's also a guy. Yea, I know every story has a guy in it. Let's call him Robert. Named him after Downey, Jr. cause he's such a badass and I like him. I'm talking bout my liking for the actor although I have to say I do think bout him (not the actor) a lot. We are pretty forward about our thoughts and it scares the crap out of me. One of the minor reasons is cause I know some things about him, yet I don't know him. The other reason is because I'm wondering if I'm thinking about him genuinely or I'm thinking about him so I can distract myself from the sorrow. I'm such a complicated woman. I dissect every single thoughts, over analyze it and scare the crap out of myself but I guess I'm just being a woman. I probably should just let it be and maybe in a couple of days, this thoughts would have died down and I'll realize how stupid all this is.

I actually surprised myself because I feel the sorrow is reducing as each day goes. I don't wanna rejoice yet cause I'm worried I might jinx it.

A strong person is not a person who doesn't cry.
A strong person is the one who cries and shed tears for a moment, 
then gets up and fight again.

I saw the above in Facebook and I agree with it, wants to be and will be a strong person. Cheh... so motivated. LOL.. That's it for now and let's wait for a few days and see if I would be happier or the opposite. 


  1. Not very hard to guess who this "Robert Downy Jr" is :)

    1. Really?? It seems like everyone knows who Robert is, eh?