Thursday, April 28, 2011

Breaking point

You had me at my weakest moment, bring me to my own feet and be strong. What you didn't know was, when you broke it, you got me weaker than I have ever been. For once in my life, I felt so lost that I don't know what to do with it. All I kept thinking was the fight we had and then the good times we had. From the very first conversation till the day everything ended, I couldn't bring myself to believe all this that has happened. I'm trying very fucking hard to snap myself back in to reality and accept the fact. Why does it seem so impossible? I spent every night of my sleep with nightmares and waking up not knowing what to do. Is this the way my heart and brain mourn? When will it end? There's nothing that can trigger me to actually smile for real besides talking to him. Why wouldn't he try to work things for real?

I refuse to let this go after going so far but if you were given only once chance to see a person and to disappear after that, how would you use that chance?

Tuesday, April 26, 2011


Yes, this is still a post on Phuket but I promise this shall be the last. Too freaking lazy to actually blog about day 3 so I just uploaded the photos on FB and now, blog on our last day of dinner. :D

Yes, if you were ever to be in Phuket and looking for fine dining, Whitebox is the place to be. Just remember to call for reservation and they will have a car come to pick you. And location. Awesome huh? XD

This will be a food only post.

The entrance. :)

Appetizer; Phuket Lobster Soup perfumed with Cognac. There's literate chunks of lobster in it. :P

Appetizer; Mushroom Cappuccino with White Truffle Oil & Pan Fried Scallops.

As for the main course, this!
Nue Yang Prick Thai Dam. It's actually grilled beef tenderloin with black pepper sauce and stir fried bean sprout. Medium rare, perfection!

Scallops & Prawns. :D with trio sauce, air texture of Parmesan, Risotto with Saffron and Parmesan.

  There's a bar upstairs with the view and breeze.... bliss.

Perfect place to spend an evening with the perfect partner. ok.. scratch the last one. It's a perfect place.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

I kept asking

myself the whole night "Is there anything I could do to save this relationship?" while intoxicated. How do a person try to "be yourself" and yet be someone that he wants? It's totally contradicting but nonetheless, I tried my very best. I gave my very best till the point where there is no word needed during the break up. Just a simple take care.

I try to convince myself that I will be O.K. but I couldn't stop wondering where is the man that used to be so loving and passionate. Where we show the affection and shared the memories at the very couch. It come till this point where we were sitting on the couch, one end and another, no words at all. I realize when something has changed, no matter how hard I tried, it will never be the same. It could be better or worse. This is definitely worse.

Every couple in this world argue, fight, quarrel, etc. But this means they actually cared enough to put up a fight for it! I'd like to think the reason why we fight so often and broke up so many times was because there's something there to hold us together. When you realize your feelings for someone, how far would you go to be with that person? Is the feeling itself enough? The answer is no. Because you need to be able to be his tact team, to be smarter than him, have lots of friends, in short just be awesome. I knew I couldn't be everything that he wanted or give him everything in the world but at least I know I would give him my world. You know, the whole sweet talk kinda thing is just too lame for a cool person like him, probably that's why it didn't work. I'm a hopeless romantic and he probably is a macho man that is too cool to be in love?

I admit the fact that some anger is slowly building up in me. Well, of course I'm mad. The fact that after all I've done and he think it's not enough? Who the hell you think you are to demand all this? Here's a story I can relate to when I was at one of the Sunday service; 1 As Jesus looked up, he saw the rich putting their gifts into the temple treasury. 2 He also saw a poor widow put in two very small copper coins. 3 “Truly I tell you,” he said, “this poor widow has put in more than all the others. 4 All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on.” It was never a matter of how much you give, but how you give it all with what you had. Anyway, if you said that you did your best to save this relationship, then maybe I overestimated you and underestimated myself.

All I can is, with all this happened, I can or should I say must focus on my current plans. Well, that is something that matters to me the most right now. Focus and do my very best. If I get it, good for me. If  not, I'm sure there's other ways to get what I want. O well, like how often people said, "Don't make someone or something as the priority in your life when you're just an option".

Friday, April 15, 2011

Phuket part 2

Yess... I have finally gotten off the lazy ass and decided to work on my day 2 in Phuket. Even at this moment right now, I wonder should I blog when my temper is rising. People should really stop pissing me off. You can try and knock me and I will try to ruin your life! You can talk to me, I will just put on a deaf ear. You wonder why there's a smile on my face with a screw you attitude, it's cz from now on, I'm living for myself!

Anyway, on day 2, we went for island hoping that includes, Maya Island, Phi Phi Island, and Khai Island. Woke up at freaking 6.45am!

As usual, the first day of breakfast taste the best cz the following days are the same. *sigh*

Some artsy shot, definitely not by me! Anyway, we took the speedboat and head to the first stop, Maya Island!

I'd like to say the beach is really beautiful but.....

I really thinks it is over populated. It's not peaceful nor relaxing.

Although the beauty is undeniable. After 45 mins on this island, we were brought out to the middle of the sea, again.

And here I am, ready to snorkel. Don't ask why I'm wearing a life jacket. I have to... all because of BGBK! I don't wanna talk about it. *sigh*


There's also this cave where people live there and collect bird nest to be exported to many places. *Oh really*

There's a pit stop for monkey feeding. I was hoping they know how to swim in case one of the tourist pull and drop them into the water. *HAHAHAHA*

With all the activities, it was real quick for lunch time!!

For some funny reasons, they provided spaghetti. Oh well, ya know~ some people are not very adventurous. haha..
Walked around the island and took a quick dip in the water.. cooling best!

It will be picture perfect without those yacht. Again, it's too freaking commercialized!

As we walk, we saw some special service. 

150BAHT?! That is dirt cheap! Guess what is it please.....










It's fish spa you pervs!! I still gotta credit them smart. Some pervs might not give a second thought and walk in. LOL!

Lemme introduce you to this bunch of mischievous boys. I wouldn't call them man. Anyway, they're from Iran and without them, our trip would probably be really dull and boring. Through out the whole trip they sang, dance, and also bullied one of their friend. Really entertaining. 
Took 45 mins from Phi Phi island to Khai Don, they was very excited and sang and shout, oh I would say they're really rowdy but heck! I'm on a holiday, lets have some fun! :D 

It didn't last very long till everyone fall asleep from the very filling lunch. including me. haha.

Khai Nai, no idea what the heck that means. sounds erm..... kai nai? -_-

Anyway, that's it for the day 2. There's toooo freaking many photos and I don't wanna flood it with this post. Oh Facebook, love you lots. 

Friday, April 8, 2011

Phuket revisited

I can't remember exactly at what age I was when I first visited Phuket so this trip is like Phuket revisited while everything is so refreshing. Anyway, our flight was at 12.40 noon. Just nice.

We shared a van with Samantha and group so it'll be cheaper for everyone. :P

Our room number! Anyway, we stayed at Baan Yuree Resort & Spa.

The room is actually quite spacious despite the fact that the view is rather disappointing.

It promised to be a sea/mountain view. Yes, mountain view, far far away. hahaha..

Not to mention our access card didnt work and we waited 10 minutes for the technician to fix it. Once the door is fixed, there's no electricity. Totally ruined the mood.

The employee were actually playing this game I don't know what. You throw the metal ball to hit the other metal ball. Quite fun, only if you can play well. =(

And obviously I sucked at it. I was given 6 balls to hit 3 balls. I only hit 1. fml.

My aiming is totally outta the way. =_=

I swear if I were to tell the tuk tuk where we stay by road instead of our hotel, we'll never be home.

It's really convenient for the motorcyclist since there's one of this everywhere!  

BGBK is the happiest. haha.

As we walk, there's this cute VW that turns out to be a bar. Love it!

The wide range of drinks to choose, one will be spoilt with choices!

The interior is pink too! Mad love.

As we walk, we randomly picked this restaurant for dinner. 

Can't remember what's this. -_-

Pad Thai. Bgbk claims that this is not how it's suppose to be. 

Tom yum goong! not very spicy, i'm disappointed. huhu...

White version of it. has a very milky taste that I find it to be average. Spicy is my thing!

The dinner turned out to be an average dinner with small portions. Which cost 800 bahts!

Totally wouldn't be back for it. Though we saw some white peeps learning cooking with them. haha..

This is the last stop where I negotiated for our activities. If I'm not wrong, this is the 6th stall and I manage to get our island hoping 1 day trip and atv&elephant trekking at a slashed cheap price. haha. Talk about bargaining, we girls z best!

My next stop. Getting ink temporarily.

 Call me chicken shit, I don't care! I don't want to be 40 y/o and look at my own tattoo and still think its cool cz it won't be anymore.

Although pain would be one of the factor but if you know me, I would go pretty far just to be pretty. Just not this one.

Based on our dinner, we're definitely not satisfied. Which calls for supper time!

Got ourselves some milk, instant noodles, chocolates, oh so sinful. 

But the sinful-ness feeling was immediately disappear when we remembered that we hatta climb a steep hill to reach our hotel. fol.

It's ok to eat.

It was quite a day. Full of surprises and ups and downs. Literally. Anyway, I will be uploading the rest of the photos to my FB. And then, I'll decided when I would be getting off my lazy ass and blog for the second day. 

Till then,  xoxo.