Sunday, October 28, 2012

Two weeks of celebration

So I have been on a almost 2 weeks leave and went back to KL. It was one of the best leave I've had. Spent time with family and had a simple birthday celebration in Cameron Highlands. Met up with a couple of old friends and catch up on life. Which I am really glad I did.

I'm back in Singapore a day earlier before my leave ends. When I got in the cab, on my way home, I felt everything is so foreign. Like I didn't belong here, like I'm all alone. Then, I remembered a friend told me that he admired my courage to move to another country and work. He wouldn't have done it. That was when it struck me, I'm scared! I'm all alone in a foreign country. What if I got in to a car accident, or got mugged or something like that? Who would be there for me?

This morning when I woke up, I felt even worst. The feelings from last night multiplied by 10 or something. It's like head first down a seven story building would make me feel better. Friends told me, it could just be the post-effect of going on leave for too long. True? Idk. As of now, I choose anything in the world than to be and feel like this.

The last thing I want to be is a burden to my friends. That they have to constantly talk to me cz I'm depressed. That they feel obligated to talk to me even if they said they don't feel so. I absolutely don't know what to do. Is this a mid twenties crisis? Is there such a thing? I hope it's not. I'm counting down another 20 days till I'm back home. =/

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Tangle Teezer

I'm those who fancies online shopping. No idea why but it just gives me the thrill of browsing without getting tired. In short, I'm lazy. But the other day I wasn't looking for anything particular and I saw it in my newsfeed in Facebook. Never heard about it before and was extremely skeptical on how it would work but I got it anyway, and it's a hairbrush. 

Having long hair is really a pain in the ass sometimes. It can get really tangled after washing and we know combing it while it's wet damages the hair. When combing it dry, really hurts like hell. Anyway, given it's price, it's rather costly but I'm those type that would invest and look for the best product. It arrives after 1 week, which I totally forgot that I bought it. haha...  

Here is how it looks in the box.  Hot pink, my color! :D

Apparently the inventor Shaun P is a color technician in London salons and was inspired to create Tangle Teezer when he sees freshly and fragile colored hair being hacked with a comb. God bless his soul. Seriously. When I first open up the box, I actually thought is this a joke or what? 

The shape is odd but when I hold it to brush my hair, I understands why. It fits perfectly in to my palm with no sign of slipping at all and is extremely comfortable.

The bristles looks so ordinary yet it is granted a patent for it's "teeth". To me, it actually look like those cheap brush you buy in the night market for 2 dollars. Lol... 

Then comes the moment I try it and O.M.G.. holly molly.. this feels so good! For once I can brush my hair from the scalp to the ends without stopping due to the tangles. I also purposely find some tangled areas to comb and it untangles them without hurting. Good shit or what?

From a odd and cheap looking hairbrush, I actually think it's a great invention! haha.. I might sang the  praises too much but that's just what I think and good things must be shared!! :D

Monday, September 24, 2012

iPhone 5 craze

I couldn't wait any longer and guess what? I called Singtel customer service if I could buy the phone without the 2 years contract cz I don't think I will stay in Singapore for that long! And 900 dollars of penalty fees for terminating the contract halfway through.  Anyway, they say I could. 

Off I go to Tampines Mall. Queued for about 15-20 minutes to find that I can't buy the phone without a contract. That bloody bitch in customer service lied to me! =( I also found that I could buy them in NüBox. Off I go again but luckily it's in the same mall. 

No surprise that they sold out but I can't reserve or pre-order. This shit is so depressing. The next shipment is another 1-3weeks! Their last shipment of iPhone was last Friday and it was sold out in 10 minutes! Crazy or what? 

Here I am now... depressed on the fact that I couldn't get my hands on iPhone 5. =(

Come quickly love. =(

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Singapore vs Malaysia

It seems like I will be put through some tough decision making from time to time. Life that is. I still remember when I was 21, I made the decision to quit my college and went back working for my dad. Thinking back, it felt like it was a really long time ago. Last year, I made the decision to quit and be a flight attendant. I can't exactly say joining this company is my dream. The occupation is but not the company but I still joined it nevertheless. Reason being; for a man. So I could be with him in Singapore.

No, this is not a long ass post on how I miss him and wants him back or whatsoever. I received a phone call from my dad this evening. He asked me how is working in Singapore, how's everything.Then he proceeded to his purpose of calling; asking me to move back. He calls and bring up this topic since the day I moved to Singapore but stopped when he realized the intention of me being in Singapore(i.e. for my then bf). He then kept asking me to think of a business to start in Singapore. He doesn't like the idea of me working for others. My dad is the typical chinese businessman, the idea of being your own boss is the best.

Today he calls as usual asking me bout things and then, he asked me to move back. I was rather shock as I thought we are through with this moving back phase. I have to say, he is my dad after all. I don't need to tell him how's my job or how's my relationship and he can see through everything just based on my behavior. I never mention a single bit on the fact that my relationship ended but somehow he understands without me saying. It's like "the show's over, it's time to go home".

I am surprised and moved by his understanding and love towards me but I'm also in a dilemma. I honestly grew to like it here although it is really tough to be alone in a foreign country. I would miss my family and friends from time to time, wish there's someone to have my back when I needed it the most but I also believe this is what that made me grew so much. I learned to appreciate them so much more.

< Dad 0 - 1 Fiona >

What I earn is more that enough for myself yet not enough to live the life my dad imagined for me. I mean, for now, everything is just nice but if I looked in to it for another 5 to 10 years, not so nice. haha.. He had a point there.

< Dad 1- 1 Fiona >

I remember when I first started my job, I wasn't happy at all. I couldn't stand the politics and I find it hard to keep up to everyone's standard. I have to say, that's the problem for being new but the good news is, you won't forever be new. I am starting to get comfortable and slowly learning to love it although there are bad days as well. Then again, who doesn't has bad days at work? Besides, whenever I thought of breaking bond, I remembered the promise I made to my trainer. I know promises are meant to be broken but not for me. I would never ever make a promise unless I am certain I can keep it. At least break it cz I am forced or had no other choice. I knew a lot of people who goes with the promises are meant to be broken or it is empty in the first place. haha.. Anyway, my dad asked me how much to pay if I quit now. I know money is not an issue but I don't want to leave with a bad name. I don't want to break a promise. Not my principle.

< Dad 1 - 2 Fiona >

I can come up with more reasons to stay e.g. I can't see myself moving back and live there anymore. Excuses I know but... I guess for now, my dad ain't winning. I moved to Singapore with a strong purpose and although it's not there anymore, I need an even stronger reason to move back home.

Monday, September 17, 2012

Faster, better, stronger.

You know they always said you'll improve after each experience? That's true. I remember the day I was told to move on, the day my relationship ended. I expected myself to cry and feel total agony that as if my world came crushing down. But I didn't and instead, I went on to work. Came home feeling devastated and called my SIL to release the stress and tension(best therapist). I waited the next day, I teared for everything that has ended but I didn't cry like a baby, although I thought I would.

Days went by that I shed tears here and there but never cried like a baby. I was worried I might break down somewhere in between. Somewhere, sometime inappropriate but I didn't. I wonder if that's normal but I was told it is. Maybe because I was still waiting for the explanation that he said he owes me. Maybe somehow that gave me hope that I could patch things back. I was dishearten that it didn't happen because well, fat hope of course. Still I was just extremely sad and disappointed, but no crying baby yet.

It was then that it struck me, I didn't cry because I've had enough of men like that. Men who couldn't pluck up the courage to end things properly. Who didn't have the balls to do it face to face. The day that he decided to text me on the breakup, was the day that I saw him as a lesser man. Sure, technology is created to make man's life easier but in a matter like this, I'd expect em to give some respect and do it face to face. Many a times I defended him and gave excuses to keep holding on, hoping everything would be better but then I learned that I didn't cry because deep down inside I knew he was well not worth it.

"Every men can go through good times with you,
 but the keepers are those who went through the tough times with you".

I felt that I  healed faster, got better and grew stronger after all this experiences. I believe a big Thank You is in order.

Saturday, September 8, 2012

Pack up and move!

It's 1 am and here I am, laying on my bed surfing the net and doing nothing when I'm suppose to pack. I'm moving to Tampines tomorrow and the movers will be here at 12 noon! I have been procrastinating since 2 weeks ago and only started today. #winning

I really hate packing, I mean why do I need to arrange and pack em' nicely when I need to unbox them an hour later? I really wish I could just push everything in to the boxes haha. Another reason is probably cz quarter of the things in my room need to be thrown away. I'm really bad in housekeeping but I'm trying and I think I'm improving! haha..

Oh noes.. I just remembered things outside my room that need to be packed. The shoes, things in the kitchen, and toiletries. I guess if I really can't make it in time, I might just dump everything in. teeheee...

On the side note, I'm feeling extremely nostalgic. I'll be spending the last night here and this place has given me lots of bittersweet memories. This room is where I had my best and also the worst memories in Singapore. I guess everything has to come to an end and it's time to move on.  I can't predict the future but I keep telling myself, good things ahead. 

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Growing old is not an option, growing up is...

I'm gonna do a quick recap before I forgets everything or at least before I loses the inspiration to type. Here it goes, a year ago I fell in love. Madly in love with this man that I found a job in Singapore and moved across the country. My world evolves around him since then. My life in Singapore was built with and by him.

I hate to say this but all things will come to an end? Mine was just maybe to soon. I was so heartbroken I wanted to buy a ticket a fly home. I don't care if I break my bond and pay the penalty fee, besides, if I disappear, it was him who signed my bond, it's him that my company gonna chase after. I thought after what he made me went through, he deserves it. But I didn't do it. I use to be quite a bitch but this entire year made me grew so much. I learnt so much that I didn't think I would. For once I wanna move on without giving him what I think he did or did not deserves. He is the reason I am in Singapore and in this job but I'm changing that. I wanna truly enjoy my job or at least till the bond end. I wanna be responsible, and most importantly, I don't want to leave with a bad name.

I can't exactly say I achieved all this by myself. I need to thank my family for it. The support my sister-in-law gave got me through the tough times. She is the best sister I swear. Lets just say she did things that I never thought she would. Things I saw in movie and knew it does happen in real life but never thought it would happen to me. I guess, that's what family is for. =)

And then there's also a guy. Yea, I know every story has a guy in it. Let's call him Robert. Named him after Downey, Jr. cause he's such a badass and I like him. I'm talking bout my liking for the actor although I have to say I do think bout him (not the actor) a lot. We are pretty forward about our thoughts and it scares the crap out of me. One of the minor reasons is cause I know some things about him, yet I don't know him. The other reason is because I'm wondering if I'm thinking about him genuinely or I'm thinking about him so I can distract myself from the sorrow. I'm such a complicated woman. I dissect every single thoughts, over analyze it and scare the crap out of myself but I guess I'm just being a woman. I probably should just let it be and maybe in a couple of days, this thoughts would have died down and I'll realize how stupid all this is.

I actually surprised myself because I feel the sorrow is reducing as each day goes. I don't wanna rejoice yet cause I'm worried I might jinx it.

A strong person is not a person who doesn't cry.
A strong person is the one who cries and shed tears for a moment, 
then gets up and fight again.

I saw the above in Facebook and I agree with it, wants to be and will be a strong person. Cheh... so motivated. LOL.. That's it for now and let's wait for a few days and see if I would be happier or the opposite. 

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Airplane mode

I have been wanting to write about this for the longest time but didn't had the time, blah blah blah... yada yada.. and so forth.

Anyway, I'm curious as how much people know about this airplane mode function in our iPhone or android?

Do you turn on the airplane mode in the airplane? Or do you turn the airplane mode on after take off? What is your practice?

You see, it is my job day to day to remind passengers to switch off their mobile phones and electronic devices for take-off and landing and I always get the reply " It's in airplane mode."

I'm gonna make it clear that Airplane mode is only for cruising. Which means when the airplane stop climbing, you can switch on your device to airplane mode. And then switch OFF your device when you're landing. Easy as that.

It's really funny when a cabin crew ask you to switch off your phone, and there you are, saying it's on airplane mode. It doesn't make you look very smart.

Look at the image above, and remember, only during cruising. It is not for take off and landing. 

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Whenever I feel sad or comes to an dead end, I always find myself here; writing things that some people would disapprove. It makes me feel worse when my blog is the place I pours my sorrow. It seems so gloomy and wistful in here. To make things worst, I find myself using sugars subconsciously to make myself feel better. Which explains the weight gain.

I have never needed that much of sugar before. Everything that I eat or drink, would be little or sugarless. Nor do I buy chocolates or candies! I may have notice a problem but that is definitely not the root. I never knew moving across the country for someone and also for job is such a big sacrifice. Leaving behind everything and everyone that I have loved dearly. Maybe it wasn't so bad since I have my love with me in Singapore but the truth is, my love have a life. Family, friends, work and everything else. Perhaps I stand a 10% above everything that I mention? I'm not saying that is little nor a lot, considering 10% all for myself.

I guess I really miss everything back home. Having being sheltered under daddy and could get almost anything that I want with a lil tantrum. Although at times I have to fight hard, it was nothing compared to what I experience now. At work, I have to be on my toes and that itself wasn't enough and I still get into trouble for everything.

Suddenly it feels like being back home is what that keeps me sane although I used to say otherwise last time. Insanity is slowly claiming me back as my life now has no one but my love and work. Being at work is suppose to be fun but not when you're new. All I can say is everyday is a brand new level of hell for me. As far as I know, I'm very close to shattering. 

Lucky me, I got a tiny break during Chinese New Year and sneaked back home. The feeling of being back, was awesome although my room don't really feel like my own anymore. I enjoyed every single bit of love that was poured by my family. Considering if I have eaten or worried I'd be bored and kept me company at all times except sleeping of course.

I wish I could be more understanding to my love and be patient and listen to him. I wish I can be everything that he wants or wish me to be. I know at times he thinks I'm picking a fight or being unreasonable. He even thinks that I'm being selfish for everything is about me. But that is just me crying for attention and TLC. I need to get my emotions fix before I could be anything or everything that he wanted. He sees me destroying the relationship but he does not see how I am trying my best to give him everything that I can or have to him.

This is very tough problem to fix you know; homesick and whatnot. I thought it would be easy if I could share my everyday with him but this is harder than I thought. I can't pour all my sorrows or emotions as he has his own and he needs peace and time for himself. In short, I gotta stop bothering him with my own problems.

I'll need to channel my sorrow, stress and whatnot elsewhere. and of course I have no where but here. Guess I'll be updating more often I guess? Well, if I only comes here when I'm sad, I wish I would never need to write here.