Monday, March 14, 2011

Why the pain

when you can choose to feel good? It's very often that we kept thinking of the bad stuff and throws away the good stuff. Just like how we kept thinking how a particular person did us wrong and forgot the good stuff. How we over looked the good stuff and making a big fuss outta probably a small bad stuff.

Unfortunately in my case, I'm very reluctant to let go of the good stuff and allowed the bad stuff swallowed me in. Keep holding on even after being pushed way beyond my breaking point. What I need exactly was the logical talk, the type that would slap some senses in to me. I mean, I have been hearing all this for the couple of months but I believed that I should listen to myself instead of other's advice. You know, the type of thinking ; what do they know bout me? In the end, I guess I'm still a human with only so much of pain I can process. When I can think logically, I realise why would I allow some egoistic bugger mess with my feelings? Where he waltz in to my life and took so much control than I actually knew. Then again, lets not speak of the past. It happened cz I let it happen. This is the point where I fix things. To leave him and start over.

It is definitely the last choice I would make if it's possible. It's against what I want but I believe it's what I need. Sometimes we need to realise that, what we want is not necessary what we need nor is good for us and vice versa. And even I made this sounds like a total mistake, I would actually be grateful for he once enlighten me in many things. Instead of saying "all" these things reminding me of him, I would say this is part of growing up. If he did not came in to my life and did all this, someone else will. There's nothing to be sad about.

The new 3Fs that I think is hilariously true. If you think I give a shit, you're not Feeding me, Fucking me, or Financing me, so think again. So you might know my name, but do you know who I am? You might know my story, but do you know what I've gone through? One could be looking down on someone and thinks he or she is a loser but hey, everything has a cycle. *pause* Geez... I rambled so much without knowing. wtf. I could say I'm done with it but it still lurks in me. Anyway, its always mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter. 

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