Monday, August 23, 2010


There was this once that a friend of mine said "You don't get excited like how a girl would."

 I was like"wtf?"

Well, after some explanation, I understood what he meant. I don't skip around or scream on top of my lungs or squeals or have teary eyes when something happen in a sudden.

For example, my then bf, now ex baked me a cake. My reaction: aawww... so sweet. thank you! But truly in me, I didn't feel the excitement or wanted to tell the whole world about it. hhmmpphhh...

Back at that time, I thought to myself, "Hey, you can't blame me right? I grew up with three(3) strong and masculine man. I should be thankful that I didn't turn in to a tomboy or lesbo."

Growing up with only my dad and two(2) elder brother, basically turned me in super dominant and yet, I still reserved some girly part in me. In short, I'm like a man trap in a woman's body. And, trust me, it is a tragedy!

What is already predicted, I have more guys friends that girlfriends. And that wouldn't be so bad, cz I feel more comfy with guys. Worst is, some bitch may think that I flirt or "mandirum" the guys or something like that.

I blame it on how I was brought up. wtf.

Anyway, until four(4) or five(5) months ago, my best friendS are leaving to the States.

And it still didn't hit me with the fact that I won't be seeing them for at least a year or two.

Until the month that they are leaving, it slowly creep in me that I will miss them dearly. Or at least, miss doing the silly stuff with them.

Then only I hurried organized a farewell road trip with them that is action packed with all the things I'll missed without them around.

Still, that time, the feeling was anything less than a pinch!

You'd probably thought will I ever feel sad?

The answer is YES. Sadly, after they left. I realized that I missed them very dearly!

Nagen n Emo-boi, if you don't believe me, go ask Umar!! teeheeee..

And I actually updated my status on twitter and facebook that says: 2 in 1 week. I wudda break down and cry if I were anything less.

I thought I was strong enough and won't feel anything more than a pinch, I was wrong.

I broke down and cried. Terribly.

I never exactly cried so much for a friend. Even if we argued big time or he/she said or did something horrible.

Reason is, being with them also means being myself. Nobody cares bout anything besides having a splendid time. And our definition of splendid can be really simple. Just us.

We tease, humiliate, scream, argue, laugh, cried, puked(them) and loads together. Yet, it seems not enough.

So now, I will try to get my ass to NY. And this is not a promise as my mom wants me there on Oct. But I want to be there only on Dec for Xmas and New year.


omg. I strayed so far away. Anyway, that's when I thought, not only that I don't get excited-stimulated-aroused-provoked-stirred-whatever you call like a girl, I'm also slow-mo. fml.

There there, I'm not gonna prolong this post. This is the end. :)

Nagen and Emo-boi, please be prepared cz I will flash you my green light once my visa and all approved!! XD

1 comment:

  1. i kinda got what you meant
    for me, i dont cry when watching love dramas
    i cry when it involves animals or it's anime
    ah well /shrugs